The Art of Grieving
By Kitty Quinn, Photographed by Milan Lazovski, Styled by Kitty Quinn & Milan Lazovski, Model: Adrienne Willis
The spectrum of human emotions is undoubtedly instrumental in the artistic process. Although all emotions can alter an artist’s product, it can be argued that the most impactful is grief. Grief is unlike any other emotion— a perfect storm of sadness and anger that leaves a permanent mark on the psyche. Whether grieving in a hypothetical sense or for an actual death, there is a certain depth it adds to art that cannot be replicated with more pleasant emotions like happiness or excitement. This is an idea that I have always been interested in exploring, whether while consuming or creating my own forms of art. Perhaps most eloquently said by French novelist Marcel Proust, “Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind”.
An especially crucial part of overcoming the challenges of grief is coping. The way that art can be translated while being used as a coping mechanism is unique and unpredictable. Depending on what someone is grieving, their subsequent creation can be impacted in innumerable ways. Nobody can foresee when grief will come knocking at their door— nevertheless the long and painful healing process that follows suit. Creating art to cope gives new life to painful realities, almost like the process of a chrysalis turning into a brilliant butterfly. It allows the griever choice with what to channel their sorrow into rather than letting the powerful emotions take hold of them instead. To not allow oneself to cope is like putting a hypothetical block on one’s creative potential. I feel like one of the greatest life lessons is that channeling creativity as a coping mechanism will reward you with a meaningful piece of art that can be shared and appreciated by others— almost a way to show that all of the agonies weren’t for nothing.
The most interesting aspect of this phenomenon is how universal it is among artists across all mediums. Through meaningful and special in all ways, the one I have found to be the most striking is through music. So many famous musicians have opened their hearts and released songs and albums centered around their times of sorrow. Though there is an endless list, perhaps my favorite example is Joni Mitchell’s Blue. While not grief in the traditional sense, the breaking of a heart can be a blow of equal gravity. Following the end of her relationship with fellow musician, Graham Nash, Mitchell channeled her woe into possibly one of the most celebrated albums of her several decades-spanning careers. It’s said that Mitchell was at a point of breaking during the recording process, so fragile that she would spontaneously combust into tears at times. Grief brings artists to their most raw and welcomes audiences to their inner, most intimate feelings that they would otherwise stow away. There’s such bravery in letting the world see the art you create in your darkest periods but also a freedom unlike any other. It’s a language all humans can speak, regardless of where they're from.
I am not unfamiliar with the process of using grief to channel into my own art. From grieving my grandfather to expectations not being met, 2022 has been a year of incessant grieving— however, 2022 has also been a year of creation as well. Following the passing of my grandfather in June of this year, Milan and I had the idea to start Starmaker Machine. It has become my saving grace in all my times of trouble, grief related or not. Whether working with Milan on the creative directions of our photoshoots or writing these blogs, I gave myself the greatest gift an artist can give to themself; an outlet. I have always been a creative person but to finally be able to channel my overwhelming feelings of hurt into something tangible that I am proud of has been so valuable to my character. Though grief is intimidating and not something anyone should experience often, I’m so grateful for the person I have become and the things I have created as a result of it.
It is the universal experiences such as the relationship between grief and coping that can bring humans together. It is the ever-present reminder that using art as a means of coping can not only heal but be life-changing beyond comprehension. From people like Joni Mitchell to myself, there is so much to be learned from a person at their lowest. Maybe it's optimism, but it’s times like these when you can feel thankful for grief. Although it’s never pleasant at the moment and the loss of someone or something can be debilitating, to know that there can be some light in the darkness is endlessly relieving.
